Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
