So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
soo... how was my night?
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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