Everything about him screamed your future.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
