3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Randomize
