I'm drive I can fine osifer
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
