ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
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