His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Randomize
