Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
I think a kid would responsible me up
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Randomize
