Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
of course. lets lasso hookers.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
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