Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize
