It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
