He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
