So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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