There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
