He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
Randomize
