So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
Randomize
