I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Randomize
