With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Randomize
