I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
