I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
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