That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Randomize
