My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Randomize
