I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
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