Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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