roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
