I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
