Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Randomize
