sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
He uses pillows to masturbate.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Randomize
