this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
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