So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
Randomize
