I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
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