So drunk, too bad you don't want this
id be glad to
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
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