his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
