btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
