I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
