Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
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