Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
I AM VODKA MAN
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Randomize
