did you get engaged???
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
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