she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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