i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Randomize
