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It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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