sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
Banned from zoo.
Again?
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Randomize
