after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
