I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
