Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
vagina is talking i cant
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Randomize
