i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
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