smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
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