she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
We need a shit load of segways right now
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
Randomize
