she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
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