Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
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