this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
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